|'cuz everyone needs a little clip art in their life|
even fashionistas have bad days
I’d never classify myself as the patient type, but lately I’ve found myself even more irritable than usual. I’ve been avoiding movie theaters due to the loud breathers/talkers/seat kickers that inevitably sit beside me, I find myself irrationally annoyed when drivers park their cars too close to mine, and recently I ditched an interior design project because it was taking longer than expected.
on what she loves about Christmas
- Moments like this morning when Leta asked, "You know how Santa, like, is always aware of when I'm bad? Well, then why doesn't he just know what I want for Christmas?" And because I hadn't even put on my clothes or had my coffee, I hesitated a little too long. So she answered her own question, "I just have to say it out loud so he can hear it, right?" I'm pretty sure she's safe to raise herself from here.
one guy's thoughts about going in for a kiss
"Mary and I had been friends from the age of 3, and I had always had feelings for her. One night, as college friends, we went to dinner, and I told her, 'I think there's something here,' to which she responded, 'I think you need to think about that.' I said, 'Ok, I've thought about it for almost 20 years, but I can give it another week or two, I guess.' She ended up staying with me that night, so I just went for it! I kissed her while we were about to fall asleep, and she was like a rock! Nothing! No response, no reaction, no reciprocation. So I thought, well, that was a great friendship that I just screwed up. Fast forward, a few weeks later we were on spring break together...yada yada yada...now we're married." -- Austin, 29
on finding amazing deals on overstock
You know how shelter magazines make the homes they feature seem lived in thanks to great prop stylists? Well, while the way they position throws to look perfectly imperfect baffles me (although I am pretty darn good at styling), that little touch—with all of its texture—really makes a huge difference in creating a welcoming feel. Check out the Oxford Decorative Throw Blanket in its array of colors. And after you purchase it, let me know how many hours it took to make it look perfectly imperfect. NOTE: Speaking from experience, this is bound to drive you crazy.
good luck trying to get into one of these restaurants
Exactly 19 lucky souls (chosen at random from the membership rolls of Match.com and the New York City Municipal Credit Union) gather on the corner of Keelhaul Terrace and St. Flocellus Street in the Rottenwood section of Brooklyn exactly 19 minutes after sundown every evening (a security force of pensioned-off Guardian Angels enforces the temporal parameters), mill around aimlessly until the unmistakable rat-a-tat-tat of a driveby gang shooting is heard from two streets over, and then line up in ascending order of height along the curb while Blutwurst and his team race by on their vintage Schwinn Couriers and toss exquisitely crafted morsels (Mangalitsa pork-fat shooters, rattlesnake-and-cannabis hand rolls, rabbit tartare with catfish-liver crostini, and the like) — though never quite enough of them to go around —into the air above their heads. Hilarity ensues.