Laura Rennie

$%*#@& toothpicks!

Laura R.2 Comments
Andy and I have had a constant struggle in our marriage. It revolves around the toothpicks. I would prefer it if  toothpicks didn't exist in our home at all, but that will never happen. Andy likes to stick one behind his ear after dinner and then eventually pick his teeth and hold the toothpick on the side of his mouth for hours. l am disgusted by this and have told him that many times. Our original compromise was that he would use the toothpick to get food out of his teeth and then immediately throw it away. I don't know what happened to this compromise. I mourn that compromise.
Somehow Andy has completely ignored my toothpick requests and the worst part of it is I FIND THEM EVERYWHERE. In the couch, on the floor, stuck to dirty plates, even IN BED. I don't know how that last one happened, but my friend Jackie witnessed it because she was in my room looking at my clothes when I discovered it.

Jackie also witnessed the piercing of my foot by a stray toothpick that was on the floor, which happened a few weeks after the bed incident.

It boggles my mind that we can have mature arguments and agreements and discussions and whatnot, but Andy continues to resist the toothpick compromise. It's a good thing he's so darn good looking.