Laura Rennie

Dear Chloe, On Your First Birthday

MotherhoodLaura RennieComment

Dear Chloe,

You are 12 months old! 52 weeks! 365 days! Over 8,000 hours!

With each turn of the clock, my heart has beat with love for you. You fill me with wonder and joy. Before you, there was a time I was a shell of myself. I felt hollow and disengaged. I missed the "real" me.

You brought me back, Chloe Mae. Now my eyes are filled with sparkles and happy tears. My bitter cup was made sweet.

My prayer when I was pregnant with your sister Jane was that it would be God's pleasure to bless us with a healthy child. That He would find joy in giving us something we desired so greatly. I don't know why He allowed us to experience her loss, but I do know one thing for sure: the heavens rejoice over you, and we do, too.

The first time I met your birth mom I made a joke to my family members that I was going to ask her for her baby. We all laughed, but God knew I wasn't really joking. God knew that a thread had been woven, a connection had been made, and five months later you would be in my arms.

I can only imagine the delight God must have in giving you to us. I think of how your father and I call each other our "puzzle piece" because we fit together so well, and how you are another perfect fit in our family puzzle. He knew you would look like your daddy with your blue eyes and that you'd have long fingers like me. He knew you would love to laugh and snuggle and read.

I marvel at you, Chloe. You are sweet, smart, beautiful and funny. I am honored and proud to call you my daughter.

Happy birthday, precious one.

Your mama