I finally read one of my Contentment Challenge books — "Grace Not Perfection" by Emily Ley. Emily is the creator of the item that was at the top of my Christmas list in 2015 — The Simplified Planner. She is a Christian, small-biz owner, wife and mama to three young children. I thought her book would be more geared towards creative entrepreneurs, and I wondered if it would relate to me now that I have set aside Laura Rennie Interiors. But the book read more like general encouragement to let go of how we think our lives should be or what they should look like and instead embrace the gifts and blessings we've been given with gratitude and grace. I LOVED "Grace Not Perfection" and actually cried while reading the last chapter. I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did! I really didn't know anything about the book before I started, but I expected it to be a self-help book for the exhausted entrepreneur and figured it would be interesting but not necessarily super relevant to me. I couldn't have been more wrong!
So what IS this book about? Emily addresses various aspects of a woman's life — her dreams, interests, insecurities, faith, family, friendships, work and home — and challenges readers to find ways to make those aspects less overwhelming/draining and more simplified and grace-filled. The book is split into three parts: Grace With Yourself, Grace With Your People and Grace In Your Calling. Emily shares about her struggles with infertility, her business mistakes (which made me cringe and laugh out loud), the tears shed over sleepless nights and messes everywhere, and more. She offers practical solutions for creating space and time for things that matter most. It's part memoir, part how-to.
While she tries to reach a wide audience with her sweet words, I would hesitate to gift this book to a woman struggling with her singleness or a woman who desires children but doesn't have any. Emily's husband and children are very present in the book and I could imagine that if I read this book a year ago, I would have different emotions about it. It would be very easy to feel bitter while reading this book — it's by a cute, successful woman who has a beautiful home and family and is friends with a lot of well-known cool creatives. If you think you can read this book and not hate her for those things, read it! It's so good! But if you're nervous it would cause you bitterness or envy, that's OK — better you know that about yourself and don't give into temptation. Because this whole book is about grace, I chose to go into it with an attitude of grace: grace for Emily, grace for her advice, grace for myself, etc.
The reason I enjoyed this book so much is because I am at a stage in my life where I'm a wife and young mama who is juggling work and home and passions and friendships, and I so appreciate being reminded to have grace for myself and others! I love her encouragement to ignore the piles of laundry and dirty dishes for one more day in favor of spending quality time with family.
"God cares more about us abiding by His commandments and loving big—feeling deeply alive and free from the traps of perfection and comparison. He’s watching us scurry about, saying, 'Sweet girls, why are you so hard on yourselves? All this worry and busyness is for what? I’ve given you all you need.' ”
"It's fine if your dresser drawers look like they've been hit by a natural disaster. Are you still able to find things? Awesome. Do what works. Forget the rest."
If you don't have time to commit to reading the book, this devotion by Emily Ley is short, sweet and super powerful.
I've now read "Present Over Perfect" and "Grace Not Perfection" and I have "Chasing Slow" on my bookshelf to crack open soon. I think it's clear what my heart is craving! My friend Shannon wrote a great article that also goes along these lines — her resolution is to manage less and connect more. I immediately decided to join her in this resolution.
"In reality, my kids don’t need a perfectly streamlined schedule, or a household budget reconciled down to the last penny. They also don’t need a month’s worth of menus planned or a freezer stocked with thirty crock pot meals. They need their mama." — Shannon Hicks
AMEN, right? So today instead of watching TV or scrolling Instagram while feeding Chloe her bottle, I simply held her and sang to her. Instead of using her awake time to do a grocery store run, I took Chloe to storytime downtown and invited someone I met there to walk Carroll Creek with us. Instead of using her nap time to clean or do laundry, I arranged a snack-y lunch and ate it on the deck, soaking up the sunshine and using my laptop to watch one of my childhood best friends on Chopped. It is 76 degrees in Frederick right now! I love it! I'm staying outside as long as I can.
I do have dishes and laundry to put away, a floor to vacuum and dinner to cook. But there is still time left in the day, and I couldn't be happier with how I've spent it so far.
I'm pretty good at putting off household tasks, but I'm NOT good about releasing myself from the guilt I feel when I'm confronted by the mess. Things have to get done, right? At some point I do have to do the managing, the cleaning, the errands, etc. But I also don't want these tasks to come before being still before my God and being present for my family.
Emily recommends using Sundays as a day for managing and prepping for the week. I used to do that, and have gotten out of the habit. I'd love to know: do you like to do divvy up chores between days of the week? Get everything done at once? Play it by ear? (I'm currently a play-it-by-ear gal who dreams of having a housekeeper.)
The Holy Spirit spoke gently to my soul this morning. "Laura, your family has clean laundry, even if you pull it out of the basket. You make most dinners, and when you don't, you have mozzarella sticks in the freezer. You guys love mozzarella sticks! You are only a 10-minute vacuum away from having gorgeous floors. You cheer on your husband, you snuggle your baby, you give your all to your job, you call your mama and you listen to your friends. You are far from failing. Your life is full, but it's full of good things."
I'd love to know your thoughts on all of this! Tell me how you are choosing grace not perfection. Tell me what's not working and what you hope to do about it. Tell me you'd love to come vacuum each individual stair in my house. (Haha, but really.) Remind me we're all in this together! :)