Laura Rennie

Dear Chloe (4 months)

MotherhoodLaura RennieComment

Dear Chloe,

I've always been aware of how quickly time passes, but it seems to pass even faster when you have a baby! Each week seems to fly by. It saddens me that I haven't written more over the past four months (four months??!!), but the truth is I'm simply too busy to write because I snuggle and kiss you all day long! This post was written in five to ten minute increments over the course of several weeks. You are now 19.5 weeks old! WHAT?

Girl, I love you to pieces.

Since the day you were born I've noticed a new feeling — I can't describe it properly, but it's a rush of joy that kind of hurts a little and makes my eyes well up with tears. (I think they call it love?) It's a mix of pride and bliss and also bittersweet-ness, because I know this season of you being tiny is fleeting. I get that rush when you giggle, when you wrinkle your nose because you think something is funny, when you coo at me... really, nearly everything you do causes that feeling! I can't believe you're my daughter, and I get to be your mom.

Everyone that meets you comments on what a sweet and content girl you are. You are generous with your smiles, and you beam especially big for your mom and dad. (Please never change!) We've taken you everywhere — shops, restaurants, a baseball game, the pool, the beach, church... you're a champ! 

Other than being in our arms, you are most happy to play in the bassinet attachment of your pack 'n play, or sit in your rock 'n play and watch me cook or do dishes. I put on little shows for you and my off-key singing and terrible dancing don't seem to matter to you one bit!

Some of your favorite toys are: Sophie giraffe, crinkly book, your lovey and the star on your play mat. You also LOVE your wubbanub and can occasionally get your pacifier back in your mouth. You now pull and grab at toys and put everything into your mouth. You get a crazed look on your face, open your mouth and shake your head really fast. It's hilarious. You sometimes turn the pages of your books. You blow bubbles with your mouth and make noises that sound like someone is passing gas. For a few weeks you stopped being chatty and only blew bubbles, and it nearly broke my heart. I think your brain was busy learning new things. You started talking again last week and haven't stopped since! In fact, you talked so loud during church that I had to take you out into the hall. :)

You started laughing around 3.5 months. Getting you to chuckle is SO rewarding! You especially enjoy the phrases "baby beluga" "blue-eyed baby" "babies on the bus" and "are you a poopy (or pukey) baby?" You clearly love the "b" sound, but you seem to like all forms of alliteration. You are the most likely to giggle right before your bedtime, or right when you wake up. The other night your dad was playing with the dog and out of the blue you began cracking up at them! Your dad declared it the "best family moment EVER."

Your daddy is usually the one who puts you down for the night after giving you your last feed of the day. I'm often reading in bed when you go down and I always set aside my book for a bit just to listen to you talk to yourself. I creep into your room when I hear you go silent and give you a back rub and a kiss, and I say a little prayer over you.

You started rolling over around 15 weeks and we (as in me—your dad sleeps through everything) had a couple weeks of rough sleep because you would roll over, get your arm stuck and cry out. You eventually figured it out and now you enjoy being on your tummy. I struggle with anxiety at night because you sleep on your stomach, but I am daily choosing to trust God with your life and with my heart. 

Waking you up in the morning is one of the best parts of my day. Before you started sleeping on your stomach you would often have your arms up over your head and you'd squeeze your shoulders in and puff out your lips when you were starting to wake. Now you stare at me through the slats in your crib, slow blink and bust into the sweetest grins. I know you're thrilled to see me. *Cue that feeling I mentioned earlier!* You somehow scoot around in your crib at night and your head is often right up against the wall of the crib, or you have an arm sticking out of the side. 

Your daddy and I can't get enough of you. Currently dad's been singing you "Rainbow Connection" and "Alouette" (which sounds lovely in French but is actually a terrifying song) and I've been singing "Moon River" and "Top of the World." Dad walks you around the house when you're fussy and points things out to you. He lets you mess up his hair and squeeze his nose. I take you on long walks in the park and sometimes nap with you in the afternoons — you, me and Casey will all snooze on the bed together. I love taking baths with you and squeezing your cute little hiney. Yes, I'm talking about your hiney on the Internet. 

You are growing so fast. I have to remind myself that you're still a little baby! At your 4 month appointment you were 14 lbs and 13 oz and 25.59 inches. You won't fit into 3-6 month footed pajamas for much longer! You also cut your first tooth recently (at 18 weeks)!

I know the next stages of your life will be fun too, but I'm REALLY enjoying this stage. Can it last a little bit longer, please?

You're my Sweet Georgia Peach, my Chloe Mae, my Chloe Belle, my Bunny, my Sweet Cheeks, my daughter. You are loved.