Laura Rennie

Dear Chloe (9 months)

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I don't know how it could get any better than this. You are at such a FUN age! (Your ninth month of life was January 2017 — I'm always behind on these letters!)

Chloe Mae, you are a joy to be around. You smile, talk and laugh all day. There are only a few things that upset you, and they are: when you finish a bottle, when you're told you can't touch my laptop, when you see me eat my belVita biscuits (which I mistakingly shared with you once) and having to wait for food to be put on your tray. You also sometimes get cranky when you're put down to be changed or buckled into your carseat.

Things that make you happy: being sung to, dancing, reading books, chasing your ball (or roll of painters tape), swinging, going on walks, chasing the dog, watching the neighborhood kids play through the window, playing "peekaboo," climbing over your daddy, toys that make noise, Face-Timing and FOOD.

You are one busy girl. You crawl so fast that sometimes you trip over yourself. You go from room to room and play with everything from empty cereal boxes to a roll of painter's tape to a stray sock. You can stand up against something and bounce and talk for what seems like ages.

NOTES FROM NINE MONTHS:

At your nine month appointment you weighed 19 lbs 4 oz and measured 28.94 inches long. You're super tall and everyone thinks you're older than you are and tells me you don't look like a baby anymore. (Way to depress me, people.)

One of the most exciting things that happened this month was hearing you say, "guh guh kuh" — aka "good girl, Casey." You say it over and over to the dog and it never gets old. You're such a chatterbox! You said the word "baby" perfectly for a few days and then stopped. It was adorable while it lasted!

Your favorite books right now are "Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?" "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and "Home Sweet Home." You turn the pages and smile and giggle and look at each picture with intense concentration. One of my tricks for calming you down when you're upset is to recite the words from "Brown Bear" — I know it by heart!

We've learned that if you crawl away and we want you to come back, we only have to start reciting a book or sing a song and you'll come barreling towards us with a huge smile on your face.

You've started understanding space better this month and will peek under, over and around things. Though it's a bit hit or miss, there are times when you'll correctly point to things I've asked you to find, or picked up a toy I've asked you to get.

One of your Christmas presents from Grandma and Grandpa was enrollment in a "Water Babies" class at Hood College, which you started this month. The indoor pool is loud and busy and a bit overwhelming for a little one, but you seem to enjoy your class. I'm not a fan of putting on a bathing suit in the winter, but seeing you in your little pink suit makes it worth it. I love the way you hold me tight in the pool and how you smile when the instructor pulls you around on a kick board! 

You FINALLY went down to two naps a day this month! Whoohoo!

We can't get enough of you, bunny.

Reflecting on "Grace Not Perfection"

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I finally read one of my Contentment Challenge books — "Grace Not Perfection" by Emily Ley. Emily is the creator of the item that was at the top of my Christmas list in 2015 — The Simplified Planner. She is a Christian, small-biz owner, wife and mama to three young children. I thought her book would be more geared towards creative entrepreneurs, and I wondered if it would relate to me now that I have set aside Laura Rennie Interiors. But the book read more like general encouragement to let go of how we think our lives should be or what they should look like and instead embrace the gifts and blessings we've been given with gratitude and grace. I LOVED "Grace Not Perfection" and actually cried while reading the last chapter. I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did! I really didn't know anything about the book before I started, but I expected it to be a self-help book for the exhausted entrepreneur and figured it would be interesting but not necessarily super relevant to me. I couldn't have been more wrong!

So what IS this book about? Emily addresses various aspects of a woman's life — her dreams, interests, insecurities, faith, family, friendships, work and home — and challenges readers to find ways to make those aspects less overwhelming/draining and more simplified and grace-filled. The book is split into three parts: Grace With Yourself, Grace With Your People and Grace In Your Calling. Emily shares about her struggles with infertility, her business mistakes (which made me cringe and laugh out loud), the tears shed over sleepless nights and messes everywhere, and more. She offers practical solutions for creating space and time for things that matter most. It's part memoir, part how-to.

While she tries to reach a wide audience with her sweet words, I would hesitate to gift this book to a woman struggling with her singleness or a woman who desires children but doesn't have any. Emily's husband and children are very present in the book and I could imagine that if I read this book a year ago, I would have different emotions about it. It would be very easy to feel bitter while reading this book — it's by a cute, successful woman who has a beautiful home and family and is friends with a lot of well-known cool creatives. If you think you can read this book and not hate her for those things, read it! It's so good! But if you're nervous it would cause you bitterness or envy, that's OK — better you know that about yourself and don't give into temptation. Because this whole book is about grace, I chose to go into it with an attitude of grace: grace for Emily, grace for her advice, grace for myself, etc.

The reason I enjoyed this book so much is because I am at a stage in my life where I'm a wife and young mama who is juggling work and home and passions and friendships, and I so appreciate being reminded to have grace for myself and others! I love her encouragement to ignore the piles of laundry and dirty dishes for one more day in favor of spending quality time with family.

"God cares more about us abiding by His commandments and loving big—feeling deeply alive and free from the traps of perfection and comparison. He’s watching us scurry about, saying, 'Sweet girls, why are you so hard on yourselves? All this worry and busyness is for what? I’ve given you all you need.' 

"It's fine if your dresser drawers look like they've been hit by a natural disaster. Are you still able to find things? Awesome. Do what works. Forget the rest."

If you don't have time to commit to reading the book, this devotion by Emily Ley is short, sweet and super powerful.


I've now read "Present Over Perfect" and "Grace Not Perfection" and I have "Chasing Slow" on my bookshelf to crack open soon. I think it's clear what my heart is craving! My friend Shannon wrote a great article that also goes along these lines — her resolution is to manage less and connect more. I immediately decided to join her in this resolution. 

"In reality, my kids don’t need a perfectly streamlined schedule, or a household budget reconciled down to the last penny. They also don’t need a month’s worth of menus planned or a freezer stocked with thirty crock pot meals. They need their mama." — Shannon Hicks

AMEN, right? So today instead of watching TV or scrolling Instagram while feeding Chloe her bottle, I simply held her and sang to her. Instead of using her awake time to do a grocery store run, I took Chloe to storytime downtown and invited someone I met there to walk Carroll Creek with us. Instead of using her nap time to clean or do laundry, I arranged a snack-y lunch and ate it on the deck, soaking up the sunshine and using my laptop to watch one of my childhood best friends on Chopped. It is 76 degrees in Frederick right now! I love it! I'm staying outside as long as I can.

I do have dishes and laundry to put away, a floor to vacuum and dinner to cook. But there is still time left in the day, and I couldn't be happier with how I've spent it so far.


I'm pretty good at putting off household tasks, but I'm NOT good about releasing myself from the guilt I feel when I'm confronted by the mess. Things have to get done, right? At some point I do have to do the managing, the cleaning, the errands, etc. But I also don't want these tasks to come before being still before my God and being present for my family.

Emily recommends using Sundays as a day for managing and prepping for the week. I used to do that, and have gotten out of the habit. I'd love to know: do you like to do divvy up chores between days of the week? Get everything done at once? Play it by ear? (I'm currently a play-it-by-ear gal who dreams of having a housekeeper.)

The Holy Spirit spoke gently to my soul this morning. "Laura, your family has clean laundry, even if you pull it out of the basket. You make most dinners, and when you don't, you have mozzarella sticks in the freezer. You guys love mozzarella sticks! You are only a 10-minute vacuum away from having gorgeous floors. You cheer on your husband, you snuggle your baby, you give your all to your job, you call your mama and you listen to your friends. You are far from failing. Your life is full, but it's full of good things."

I'd love to know your thoughts on all of this! Tell me how you are choosing grace not perfection. Tell me what's not working and what you hope to do about it. Tell me you'd love to come vacuum each individual stair in my house. (Haha, but really.) Remind me we're all in this together! :)

Contentment Challenge Update

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At the beginning of January I committed to a three-month fast from unnecessary spending. I'll be honest — I did not expect it to be as hard as it's been!

Almost immediately after publicly committing to not spending money, I felt the urge to buy anything and everything. After months of not spending on home decor because I simply didn't think about it, guess what? Decorating was all I could think about. Spending money was all I could think about. It didn't help that post after post on social media highlighted items at Target that I l-o-v-e-d. I began wanting to buy clothes for Chloe, even though she has a ton of great hand-me-downs. I started buying groceries online because it was fun to browse and I could justify groceries as a need.

Most people that know me and have gone shopping with me would say I have good self control. And in a way, I do. I don't go crazy with spending. But it's become very apparent that I go crazy with looking. I never saw looking-and-not-buying as a problem before. Now I'm realizing how unhealthy it is! It's a waste of time and energy, and I'm actually embarrassed by how much I've done it.

My Personal Guidelines for January - Check in:

• I will not purchase home decor items (sniffle), books, clothes or accessories for anyone in the family or shoes for myself for three months. I will only buy toiletries and cosmetics that we've actually run out of. - Fail. I bought Chloe three items of clothing and bought myself one top. 

• I will not cross the threshold of any retail store in January unless it is to buy a gift or return something I bought in 2016. (I'm not counting grocery stores or pharmacies.) - Check-ish? I forget I was going to be in a photoshoot and the instructions were to wear something Spring-y, and not wear small prints or stripes. I dare you to find something in my closet that would work. I dashed to Target in a panic to try to find something and was terrified that someone who reads my blog would see me there. Haha! (This is when I bought myself the top.) I'm calling this one an overall success.

• I will continue to receive “play money,” (an amount of cash my husband and I both receive each month for things such as eating out with friends, golf or a pedicure) -- BUT I will put all of my January play money towards paying off my laptop. - Check! 

• I will be ruthless about unfollowing social media accounts that tempt me to compare or judge or make me question if I am missing out. - Check!

My Personal Goals for January — Check in:

• Sell some home items and clothes to put away money for a new dining room chandelier - Fail.. I'm tired of storing things while waiting for them to sell, so everything may end up at Goodwill. Most of my clothes have already been donated.

• Spend time daily reading my Bible — a habit I regretfully have broken — and expressing gratitude for my many blessings - Check! I've missed a day or two here and there, but I'm mostly on track with having morning quiet time. 

• Get back into the habit of doing a yoga workout — preferably three times a week. - I've done just okay on this one. I've been sick a ridiculous amount this month. I'm optimistic! 

• Clear out all areas of the house that have gathered *stuff* and trash, donate, sell or organize! I’ve already taken one load of adult and baby clothes to Faith House and multiple bags of various items to Goodwill, but there’s sadly much more to go through. - Semi check! I still have more *stuff* to go through, but a lot of progress has been made. It feels great. I cleaned out the twin guest room I mentioned in my first post — whoo hoo!

• Read "Grace Not Perfection" by Emily Ley, "Simply Tuesday" by Emily P. Freeman (a book I started ages ago and need to finish) and a daily devotion from "New Morning Mercies" by Paul Tripp. - Semi check! I'm doing my daily devotion and really enjoying it. I have started "Simply Tuesday" and "Grace Not Perfection" just came in for me at the library.

I think the most difficult part of this challenge is that depriving myself of spending has made me think of it even more than I used to. One thing I'm grateful for is that if I just get out of my head and go look inside our closets and drawers, I see proof that we have plenty of clothes! I take a good look at our rooms and see proof that I don't *need* any decorations. I simply have to keep reminding myself that I have enough.

For February, I plan to continue my January goals and guidelines, except for one: I might use my "play" money, but I won't use it on any material thing — I might spend it on a pedicure or dinner with a friend. 

Are you doing the contentment challenge? How is it going for you?

Dear Chloe (8 months)

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Just two days after turning 8 months, you cut a third tooth and started pulling yourself up on furniture. We can hardly keep up with your milestones — it seems you are doing something new at least once a week. I don't take this granted. In fact, I constantly think of your brother and sister in heaven and the struggles they would have had if they had lived. After carrying two babies with major health issues, I can't tell you the gratitude and joy I feel when I watch your little body move with ease.

You will hear this over and over for the rest of your life: you are a gift.

Your eighth month was full of special memories.

- You met your best friend Caroline for the first time in person. Caroline's mom Amy was one of my roommates in college, and our friendship has deepened greatly over the past ten years. God's timing with your birth is extra special because you were born one day after Caroline. I never expected to experience motherhood at the same time as Amy. We both cry whenever we think about it! The four of us met at your grandma and grandpa's house and they watched the two of you one night so Amy and I could go out to celebrate our 30th birthdays. The next morning we took you girls to Target and you both screamed and cried in the car, but were absolute angels inside the store. Maybe we just weren't driving to Target fast enough? 

- We saw your birth mom! She ate lunch with your grandma and grandpa while we were at Target, and we all got to see each other when we got back to the house. She was amazed to see how much you'd grown. She held you and talked to you, and you were very comfortable with her. We joked about your feet, which look just like hers, and your head of hair (which has been trimmed three times already).

- We celebrated your first Christmas at the cabin. It was so fun to watch your face as we opened presents! You received lots of fun gifts, but your favorites were a "Turn and Learn" toy and rubber ducks for the bath. It was adorable to watch you crawl over to your Turn and Learn over and over throughout the day. You pull it towards you, honk the horn and shriek with joy! You loved all of the attention you received from family and I loved handing you over to your grandma and grandpa in the mornings and going back to bed. :) I wish I had video footage of the reactions on everyone's face when I would bring you into the main room after getting you up from a nap. You're probably going to have some type of complex when you get older because we treat you like you're a huge celebrity. But let's face it — you're a pretty big deal. And we adore you (even though you had multiple middle-of-the-night blowouts and decided to cut MORE teeth and by the end of the trip had FIVE in your mouth). You are crazy!

- Our friend and worship pastor worked with us to put together a beautiful video about our family's story, and it "aired" at the Christmas Eve service. There wasn't a dry eye in the room! You were a trooper sitting through the service. Your aunt Katie got a hilarious picture of you on your daddy's lap looking super bored.

A few other things:

- You started going up stairs during your seventh month, but this month it was aaaaall you wanted to do! You're very confident in yourself and think you should be able to go anywhere you want. You like to climb over things, especially your daddy. We call him "daddy jungle gym." You discovered you can climb up on the bottom shelf of our end table in the sunken living room in order to get to the stairs that go up to the dining room. (See video below for proof!)

- You started saying "mama!" YAY! One time I came in your room to get you up from a nap and you grinned big and exclaimed, "mama" in a happy voice. It was the best. You said "mum" a lot in a pitiful voice while cutting three teeth over Christmas, and you say "ma!" when you want something. It reminds me of a Will Ferrell quote — "Ma! The meatloaf!"

- This month we put you face-out in the Ergo and you LOVE it! You seem to like feeling the cold air on your cheeks. You squeal and talk and kick your legs, and it's just the cutest thing ever.

- You love most of the foods I've given you, but your favorite is butternut squash. Peas are a close second!

NOMO FOMO :: The Contentment Challenge

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I first read about The Contentment Challenge by Nancy Ray a few years ago, and the idea has stuck in my head ever since — mainly because I get easily overwhelmed by STUFF, yet, I continue to buy *stuff.* 

Last fall I purged a room that we had hoped would be a nursery, and turned it into my office. It was emotional, but it felt great to get rid of all the stuff that had piled up! I moved on to organizing three closets in the house and, after all that purging, finally got to a point where every room in the house was tidied up. It was wonderful to walk through my home and see the pretty bedspread on the twin guest bed instead of seeing nothing but piled up clothes and random gift bags. I could give people house tours if they asked instead of walking past multiple closed doors, praying they wouldn’t ask to peek in. It was such a great feeling that I did a decent job of keeping up with putting things back in the correct space instead of throwing things in a guest room and slamming the door shut.

Then we decided to adopt a baby. With one week’s notice.

Good news: my office was turned into a nursery! Bad news: everything in that room had to go somewhere else in the house, and then new things had to come into the space. We moved to Virginia for a couple of months for the adoption and came home with boxes and boxes of donated and gifted baby items. It was thrilling, and also overwhelming.

That twin guest room now? Yeah. It’s not pretty. I haven't seen the bedspread in 8.5 months.

My point is, we have a lot of stuff. We don’t need all this stuff! My home is crying out for another round of purging and I am crying out for a break from things I do.not.need. I will not be missing out on anything if I don't have a pretty linen shower curtain. I will not be missing out if I don't have white couches. I will not be missing out if I don't have that "perfect" lip color that "looks great on everyone." I have a weird habit of shopping online for hours (especially after any "Beauty Uniform" post on A Cup of Jo), but I don't end up buying anything. I literally put things in an online shopping cart and then click delete delete delete. It may sound like self control, but really it’s just a waste of time. It also reveals that a part of me craves more, and I want to crave less. The Contentment Challenge is an opportunity for me to appreciate the many things I already own and exert self-discipline when it comes to unnecessary spending. I’m going to share more about the spiritual side of this challenge later, when I share my “Word” for 2017. 

The Contentment Challenge by Nancy Ray

We will give up shopping for clothes, accessories, household decor, and “stuff” for 3 months, to focus our hearts and minds on the root of true contentment. We will actively pursue fulfilling activities that will replace our addiction to material things.

The Guidelines:

• For the next 10 days, your homework is the following: prepare your heart, organize your closet, and make any necessary purchases that you might need during these months.

• Choose 1-3 inspiring books to read during this time.

• Gifts are okay! If someone gives you a new dress or piece of decor during that time, receive it graciously! If you need to buy someone else a gift, by all means, do so. The point is not to be rude, but to learn more of ourselves and the Lord.

• Necessities are okay! Just don’t start justifying new purchases for items that you already have.

• You must actively pursue something – anything – that replaces your tendency to buy stuff. Begin thinking about something you love or a hobby you’ve always wanted to do, and make preparations to actually do it. 


My Personal Guidelines:

• I will not purchase home decor items (sniffle), books, clothes or accessories for anyone in the family or shoes for myself for three months. I will only buy toiletries and cosmetics that we've actually run out of.

• I will not cross the threshold of any retail store in January unless it is to buy a gift or return something I bought in 2016. (I'm not counting grocery stores or pharmacies.)

• I will continue to receive “play money,” (an amount of cash my husband and I both receive each month for things such as eating out with friends, golf or a pedicure) -- BUT I will put all of my January play money towards paying off my laptop. 

• I will be ruthless about unfollowing social media accounts that tempt me to compare or judge or make me question if I am missing out.

My Personal Goals for January:

• Sell some home items and clothes to put away money for a new dining room chandelier

• Spend time daily reading my Bible — a habit I regretfully have broken — and expressing gratitude for my many blessings

• Get back into the habit of doing a yoga workout — preferably three times a week.

• Clear out all areas of the house that have gathered *stuff* and trash, donate, sell or organize! I’ve already taken one load of adult and baby clothes to Faith House and multiple bags of various items to Goodwill, but there’s sadly much more to go through.

• Read "Grace Not Perfection" by Emily Ley, "Simply Tuesday" by Emily P. Freeman (a book I started ages ago and need to finish) and a daily devotion from "New Morning Mercies" by Paul Tripp.


Nancy designated separate themes and challenges for each month of the challenge. I don’t plan to blog about this portion of the challenge, but I will try to pop in here and there with an update on how I’m doing! If the idea of doing this challenge intrigues you, I urge you to 1) um, just DO IT, and 2) Google “The Contentment Challenge” and read about other people’s experiences with it!

Was I nervous to commit to doing this? Yes. Do I think I’ll regret it? Not for a second!

Who wants to join me?

 

Dear Chloe (7 months)

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Sweet bunny, I never want to forget the way you shut your eyes tight when I turn the light on in the morning and then open them with a big smile on your face.

You kicked off month 7 by saying "dada," which we thought was a really big deal, and then five days later you started crawling! You constantly amaze us. It was as if a switch went off in your brain and suddenly you knew how to move your arms and legs just so. You take little breaks and rest on your side like a model, and then you're on your knees again and ready to go.

We celebrated your first Thanksgiving at Meemaw's house and your Aunt Melissa snuck you a taste of whipped cream while I wasn't looking. People love to spoil you — they see those chubby cheeks and sweet smile and can't help themselves! Thanksgiving day was fun, but the night was AWFUL. You had your first cold and refused to sleep in your pack-n-play because you couldn't breathe. You could only sleep propped up between your dad and me, and you would rest for all of twenty minutes at a time before waking up screaming bloody murder, legs kicking and arms flailing. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Your screams made my heart hurt and I cried with you. I also desperately craved sleep. Your dad was a saint through it all and sang to you and walked you around the room while I wept tears of exhaustion. You've been a great sleeper since day one, so I guess we're due a few miserable sleepless nights.

Speaking of sleeping, you're still on a three nap schedule. I've read 7-month-olds can go 2-3 hours between naps, but not you, bunny! Two hours is pushing it with you. You started WAVING this month when I take you upstairs for naps or bed. I don't know who or what you're waving at, but it's adorable! You are almost always thrilled to be put in your crib and you immediately pop in your wubbanub pacifier and snuggle with your lovey.

You're one busy bee! Now that you're crawling, you are constantly on the move. It only took two practice sessions for you to learn how to climb the two stairs that separate the living room and dining room. We have to keep a close eye on you because you know how to go up, but not down. We haven't yet baby-proofed — our current method has been, "Wait! Stop! Put that cord down! Don't tear the leaf off that plant! Don't stick your fingers in the dirt!" It works some of the time...

You've recently started making a super goofy wrinkle-nose face (captured in one of the pics below) and you'll make a rapid blowing noise that sounds like a woman in labor. It's ridiculous and hilarious and I thought you were SO WEIRD, but then we found out your friend Caroline does it, too! You're not alone in your weirdness, bug.

Your fluffy pooch remains one of your favorite things. You squeal when you see her in the morning and always try to crawl after her. Casey likes you the most when you are in your high chair and you drop Cheerios and other foods on the floor for her to gobble up.

As the month has gone on, you've added a few new consonants to your repertoire. You've mastered "dada" and now say "ba" and "la." I joke that you are calling me by my first name when you say "lala."

Your mama turned 30 this month! I imagine this birthday would have been hard if you weren't a part of our lives. You're the best present I could have ever asked for this year — and what a happy surprise you were/are!

We truly delight in you, Chloe Mae.